Fuck your house.
OMG I’m dying
- mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
- son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
- mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
- son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
- dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
- son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
- dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
- mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
- son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
- dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
- son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition
"This piece is actually my first performance. My aim was to use my body as it really is : a material. So I fused a canvas and a piece of waterproof fabric wherein I cut up a circle."
just rapping presents
do u mean wrapping
no my new single “presents” buy on itunes
MY MOM DECIDED THAT SINCE I FUCKING HATE CLEANING THE LITTERBOX FOR MY DUMB CATS SHE’S ACTUALLY MAKE ME A FUCKING LITTERBOX CAKE. THIS IS A FUCKING CAKE. THOSE ARE SLIGHTLY MELTED TOOTSIE ROLLS. THOSE ARE LOTS OF COOKIE CRUMBLES. BUT IT LOOKS FUCKING REAL. I ATE THIS IN A RESTAURANT. I RECIEVED WORRIED STARES FROM OTHER PATRONS AS I FEASTED UPON FUCKING CAT POOP. MY BABY SISTER REFUSED TO LET ME EAT THE TOOTSIE ROLLS BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CONVINCED IT WAS POOP, SHE RIPPED IT OUT OF MY HANDS AND THREW IT BACK IT THE PAN.
"SISSY!" SOMEONE WAS LOOKING ON HORRIFIED AS SHE GRABBED THE DISTURBING LOOKING CANDY OUT OF MY HAND. "DONT EAT POOP SISSY!"
a li tter box cae k„
congratulations on turning 91